Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 3, Day 5: Thought: We divide up household chores in a fair way. Task: Describe one way you do this on a regular basis. If you do not do your share, decide on a chore you will take on…
Nagging versus Complimenting
Dr. Gary Chapman says that a compliment is a far greater motivator than a nag in his latest 1minute podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000428360129 I am super guilty of this. Instead of filling up my spouse’s tank with compliments (Words of Affirmation, y’all!), I can easily nag about things which is the exact opposite. The connection Dr. Chapman…
Fondness and Admiration Challenge: Week 3, Day 4
Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 3, Day 4: Thought: I can recall our wedding and honeymoon. Task: Describe one thing about them you enjoyed. Response: Because just a few days ago we talked about when we first met, I had dug out one of…
Verbal Compliments
This is a great little 1 minute podcast from Gary Chapman on the value of verbal compliments: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000428202081 In it, there is the Mark Twain quote “I could live for two months on a good compliment.” He also shares biblical wisdom from Solomon: “The tongue has the power of life and death.” and “An anxious…
Fondness and Admiration Challenge: Week 3, Day 3
Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 3, Day 3: Thought: I remember many details about deciding to get married. Task: Write a sentence describing what you remember. Response: I remember working through some big ticket issues (belief in God, have kids or not, etc) when…
Fondness and Admiration Challenge: Week 3, Day 2
Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 3, Day 2: Thought: I can easily recall the time we first met. Task: Describe that first meeting on paper. Response: I’m glad I simply decided to talk to my wife rather than putting pen to paper. I would…
Fondness and Admiration Challenge: Week 3, Day 1
Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 3, Day 1: Thought: My home is a place to come to get support and reduce stress. Task: list a time when your spouse helped you reduce stress. Response: I thanked my wife for creating our physical home that…
The Emotional Bank Account (for words?)
Can we do this with words of affirmation? In John Gottman‘s book, his chapter on Principle #3 (Turn toward each other instead of away), he has an exercise called the “Emotional Bank Account” where he suggests a ledger to keep track of your interactions with your spouse. He suggests making entries for deposits (when we…
Fondness and Admiration Challenge: Week 2, Day 5
Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 2, Day 5: Thought: I get lots of support in this marriage. Task: Think of a time when your spouse was very supportive of you. Response: I started a business 7 years ago this month. My spouse was very…
What do YOU do when you screw up?
I didn’t start this website because I’m perfect and know all there is to know about relating to a Words of Affirmation (WoA) significant other. In fact, I started it because when I screwed up my relationship by not knowing how to speak WoA, I googled it and came up with very little to help.…