Fondness and Admiration Challenge: Week 1, Day 1

Here is my first installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 1, Day 1: Thought: I am genuinely fond of my partner. Task: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable. Response: Hardworking. I chose to share verbally after work. Reaction: I got a sincere but brief “Thank you for…

A Seven Week Course in Fondness and Admiration

Thank you John Gottman! This book is a good resource for strengthening your marriage whether you feel it’s on the rocks or not. In addition to sharing his “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” (predictors of divorce), Gottman shares seven principles (with included exercises to work through with your spouse). His principle #2 is: “Nurture your…

Complaint, criticism, or contempt?

Oh boy, oh boy is this a big deal! Only one of these is an acceptable practice in a healthy relationship. With a Words of Affirmation (WoA) Love Language spouse, knowing when you’ve crossed the line into unhealthy territory is of great importance. Because words are so important, making sure you are within the bounds…

New Years Resolutions

Happy New Year! A new year brings a fresh start and a clean slate for using Words of Affirmation (WoA) in your relationships. What’s on your New Years resolutions list? This year I am resolving to: Use fewer critical/negative words with my spouse. To use soft startups for complaints I may have. Use more “I…

It’s a trap!

Its a trap! Does your relationship have certain activities or topics that you recognize as traps that are sure to lead to arguments? Not too long ago, my wife and I realized that our marriage is full of them. Just identifying the trap as a couple can make navigating it easier. For a Words of…

Merry Christmas and I love you

Have you said this simple phrase to your Words of affirmation (WoA) loved one this holiday season? For the words-centric, this can mean the world to them. Just take a few minutes and see how they react! What other things have you said on special occasions that have gone over well with your WoA loved…

Proverbs 15:1

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. This is an important verse for your spouse whose love language is Words of Affirmation (WoA). Answering in a gentle way regardless the circumstances is a good policy. Responding in a harsh way (or using harsh words at all with your WoA…