Our tone matters!

“A soft answer turns away anger.”

Dr. Gary Chapman explains further on this edition of A Love Language Minute.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000429209257

Am I the only one guilty of this?

Sometimes, despite my intentions, my tone does not match my words.  In my head I feel I should get credit for using the affirming words but my spouse definitely does not see it that way!  It doesn’t have to be as dramatic and harsh as the example in this podcast.  My offenses tend to be much more subtle.  When my tone does not match my affirming words, I get no credit for the effort.  In fact, my spouse hears this as the opposite of her love language and I can actually do damage.

This has been particularly hard at times during the 7 week  Fondness and Admiration Challenge I’m in the middle of.  There are days I wish to check the box that I’ve completed the challenge and just say the words when what the real goal is to communicate love through the activity (not only the words but also the tone).

Who has examples of how you’ve messed this up?  Any tips for the rest of us?