Dr. Gary Chapman says that a compliment is a far greater motivator than a nag in his latest 1minute podcast:
https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000428360129
I am super guilty of this. Instead of filling up my spouse’s tank with compliments (Words of Affirmation, y’all!), I can easily nag about things which is the exact opposite.
The connection Dr. Chapman makes is not intuitive (stop asking about something and it will magically get done) but it does work. I’ve tried it!
The other technique I’ve been using lately is writing down that nag rather than verbalizing it. Most often, I realize that it doesn’t need to be said. In some cases, I even realize I can just do the thing myself and avoid falling into a nagging/criticizing trap. For small things, this has really worked out well.
What do you think? Does a stop to nagging on a topic and adding in unrelated compliments work for motivating your WoA spouse?