It’s hard to make a habit of doing something you’ve not done before and are not internally motivated and programmed to do. Speaking your spouses love language can be HARD! Forming a habit around it can help. But what do you do until that habit is formed and affirming words are coming from the heart toward your spouse multiple times a day?
Fake it ’till you make it!
Start small. Set a goal of saying one nice thing each day. Maybe when you first get up in the morning. Maybe last thing before bed when reflecting on the day. Maybe set an alarm on your phone. Whatever you have to do to start forming the habit and breaking down your internal barriers, Do It!
Now, when “faking it,” don’t say anything insincere. It’s a fine line (and one I’ve struggled with at times). A WoA spouse is very attuned to fake compliments.
It will feel unnatural to you, be new for them, and can land you in a spot even worse than one where you weren’t speaking their love language at all.
Who has some tips for forming the habit of using WoA without it coming out as contrived or fake?