“A soft answer turns away anger.” Dr. Gary Chapman explains further on this edition of A Love Language Minute. https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000429209257 Am I the only one guilty of this? Sometimes, despite my intentions, my tone does not match my words. In my head I feel I should get credit for using the affirming words but my spouse…
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Nagging!
Check out the latest Gary Chapman Love Language Minute: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000428837426 This one hit me like a ton of bricks! My spouse has mentioned to me MANY times how much I nag and how opposite that is to her Words of Affirmation (WoA) love language. Dr. Chapman makes a differentiation between nagging and encouraging words. First,…
Encouraging words
This was posted today on the Love Language Minute. I believe it comes directly from Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages chapter on Words of Affirmation. Worth a listen as a reminder on the power of encouraging words: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2#episodeGuid=http%3A%2F%2Fpodcasts.moodyradio.org%2Falovelanguageminute%2F2019-01-29_ALLM_stream.mp3
Yielding to Win
In the John Gottman book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work,” he introduces the concept of “yielding to win.” He uses an example of a traffic jam to illustrate the point. He highlights two approaches to the situation: “One is to stop, become righteously indignant, and insist that the offending obstacle move.” “The other…
Soft Start-Ups
How you start a conversation with your Words of Affirmation (WoA) spouse matters! Try a “soft start-up” and see if you have better results: https://www.gottman.com/blog/softening-startup/ Feedback from my WoA spouse is that using this technique and keeping criticism in check are the two most important things I can do for our relationship. Since trying to…
Nagging versus Complimenting
Dr. Gary Chapman says that a compliment is a far greater motivator than a nag in his latest 1minute podcast: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/a-love-language-minute/id287679946?mt=2&i=1000428360129 I am super guilty of this. Instead of filling up my spouse’s tank with compliments (Words of Affirmation, y’all!), I can easily nag about things which is the exact opposite. The connection Dr. Chapman…
The Emotional Bank Account (for words?)
Can we do this with words of affirmation? In John Gottman‘s book, his chapter on Principle #3 (Turn toward each other instead of away), he has an exercise called the “Emotional Bank Account” where he suggests a ledger to keep track of your interactions with your spouse. He suggests making entries for deposits (when we…
What do YOU do when you screw up?
I didn’t start this website because I’m perfect and know all there is to know about relating to a Words of Affirmation (WoA) significant other. In fact, I started it because when I screwed up my relationship by not knowing how to speak WoA, I googled it and came up with very little to help.…
How do you end your night?
From this article, I gleaned the following idea: “3. End your night with a word of thanks or encouragement. This is the kind of simple habit that can make or break a lifelong relationship. Before you roll over and go to sleep, let your significant other know you accept and value him or her. You don’t…
It’s a trap! (Part 2)
In a previous post I shared how certain tasks in a relationship can be challenging (traps). I also suggested a few tips for facing those challenges without offending your spouse whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation (WoA). Today I want to share another situation that can come up that is high stakes: special occasion…