Here is my next installment of the John Gottman Principle #2 Fondness and Admiration Challenge! Week 2, Day 4: Thought: My spouse is my best friend. Task: What secret about you does your spouse know? Response: Well, if I told you it wouldn’t be a secret anymore, would it? I told my wife she was…
All posts in Missteps
It’s a trap!
Its a trap! Does your relationship have certain activities or topics that you recognize as traps that are sure to lead to arguments? Not too long ago, my wife and I realized that our marriage is full of them. Just identifying the trap as a couple can make navigating it easier. For a Words of…
Ugly Holiday Blazer – a Cautionary Tale
Oops! I had a misstep this weekend that I need to share. Hopefully someone can benefit from my folly. Our family was running late for church. I was the last one to shower and I was in a hurry. I came around the corner to our master bedroom to get dressed and there was my…
Words During Your Fights!
This article: https://www.popsugar.com/moms/Bad-Fight-Front-Your-Kids-45571806 brings up some classic points about the words spouse’s use during fights. In this context it’s in front of the kids but the same holds true without kids. Specifically for fighting with the spouse who has Words of Affirmation as their Love Language , words used during disagreements are very important! If…
An interesting perspective on criticism
With a spouse who’s Love Language is “Words of Affirmation,” criticism is basically the opposite. When criticized, my wife shuts down and subtracts any points I’ve earned for speaking words of affirmation to her. While reading Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts” again, I found an interesting perspective in…
It all blew up on our family vacation.
After 20 years together, I thought we were doing well. I guess from her perspective we were not. We knew we had different Love Languages. I guess I had not been speaking hers (or speaking the opposite) for too long. It was a wake-up call. I immediately went online for help. There were no resources…