A Seven Week Course in Fondness and Admiration

Thank you John Gottman! This book is a good resource for strengthening your marriage whether you feel it’s on the rocks or not. In addition to sharing his “Four Horseman of the Apocalypse” (predictors of divorce), Gottman shares seven principles (with included exercises to work through with your spouse).

His principle #2 is: “Nurture your Fondness and Admiration.” Gottman says: “…fondness and admiration are antidotes for contempt.” This is of particular use for your spouse whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation (WoA)!  He includes an exercise titled:

“A Seven Week Course in Fondness and Admiration”

As a spouse who struggles with expressing words of affirmation (WoA), this is a great resource (and a daunting challenge).

For the next 7 weeks, I will publicly take this challenge and report the results! For each weekday, expect me to report:

1. Gottman’s “Thought” for that day.

1. The “Task” to do in response.

1. My personal response to the thought.

1. How it went with my WoA spouse (her reaction).

For example, come back Monday to see the first installment. I will report:

1. Thought: I am genuinely fond of my partner.
2. Task: List one characteristic you find endearing or lovable.
3. Response: (What I picked and how I shared it).
4. Reaction: (How it went).

I look forward to sharing this challenge with you the next seven weeks. Take it with me by posting your own results to each step in the comments! Let’s do this together!