Oops! I had a misstep this weekend that I need to share. Hopefully someone can benefit from my folly.
Our family was running late for church. I was the last one to shower and I was in a hurry. I came around the corner to our master bedroom to get dressed and there was my wife. She was wearing a red velour Christmas blazer.
I think mainly it was the surprise of the whole thing. You see, my wife doesn’t wear velour or blazers. It was totally out of character. Before I could even think about my reaction or stop myself, out it came. “Woah!” And this is where tone matters, because it wasn’t like a “Woah, do you look hot in that outfit!” In that one word it conveyed more of a “Woah, you’re not wearing that to church, are you?”
Well, I quickly backpedaled and said that I was just in a hurry and the change from the norm took me by surprise (not good or bad just “Woah! I’m surprised!”). I’m not sure she bought it.
At church she kept a count of how many people complimented her on that red velour blazer and made a note to tell me each person who did. They were speaking her love language (when I had not).
Five. That’s how many compliments she got on her outfit. I missed a big opportunity to have been part of that crowd in speaking words of affirmation into my wife’s life, giving her confidence as we entered the church, but instead I blew it.
I will try harder in this area in the future. Maybe you have a similar story? What opportunities have you missed to speak words of affirmation to your spouse that someone else didn’t?